We either make room for grace or for lack.
I've extensively studied the word "grace" and I've always felt the definitions available are deficient. So, here's mine: "Everything found in the nature and character of God, made available to us in the perfected moment of our need."
I was thinking over my tea this morning on the opposite of #grace. I did a quick study and because grace is generally centered around gracefulness and beauty, forgetting everything else that grace is, the definition of the opposite of grace was deficient as well.
Sometimes you learn more about a word by understanding it's opposite. Susie Shanlian taught me this when we were discussing the meaning of holiness and it's opposite, while sitting at my Grandmother's table. I thought it might be evil or sin. She said, "No, the opposite of holy is ordinary." Mind. Blown.
The opposite of grace is lack.
Inadequacy, absence, dearth, loss, poverty, scarcity, shortage, shortfall, shortcoming, deficit, depletion, deprivation, destitution, distress, insufficiency, meagerness, want. #Lack.
This word brings back memories. We didn't have much growing up—pastor's salaries didn't cover much. I rarely noticed it until I was older, being an oblivious kid surrounded by other oblivious kids. I do recall my parents talking about "in the red" and "out of the hole" and that made me feel insecure. However, my greatest memory of lack centered around absolutely empty cupboards. My mom was a whiz at making a meal from not much, so when I say empty, I mean EMPTY. My Grandmother, Jan Colver, gathered us all up and we laid hands on the cupboards and prayed for them to be full. The mail arrived shortly thereafter and in it, a check from my other Grandmother in Washington state! We probably bought three carts full of groceries from Sam's that day.
Grace fills whatever lack we have, when it needs to be filled. Not early. Not late.
However, one has to make room for grace. I often see people (including myself) making room for lack or insufficiency or shortage instead of grace. They'll say, "If this child/spouse/employee/employer/customer service representative does/doesn't do __________ again, I'm gonna __________." Fill in the blanks with whatever is short and insufficient rather than full of grace. This is how we practice lack rather than grace!
Here's an example of a practical way to practice making room for grace:
After overseeing the movers pack up our stuff, then driving from Virginia Beach to Roanoke, then dinner, then hotel room for the night, I just knew Cassia's sleeping was going to be off. I knew she'd more than likely wake up wanting to nurse. Instead of being reactive (waiting until it happened to decide how to respond) and likely responding out of lack of my own sleep, instead of preparing my heart to respond with lack by saying "She'd better sleep! If she doesn't, I'll be upset/grumpy/whatever" I prepared myself for her awakening. I specifically said to myself "She may wake up. If she does, I'll respond quickly. She's in a dark and unfamiliar room and bed. I only have so many of these late night nurses left, so I'll cherish it, if it happens."
Do you see how grace prepared me with empathy and the long perspective?
I get it. Parenting is hard. Sometimes I have to tell my kids "Everyone off of momma for the next five minutes. I am going to the potty and I'm locking the door!" (Cue end-of-the-world cries.) Marriage is hard. Jobs are hard. Career and school are hard. #Ministry is even harder. But Grace can fill all lack, if we make room for it. Pray over your empty cupboards and let God fill them.
Grace comes to fill the space made for it.