God is patient with the sinner, delaying consequences to give time for repentance, but he does not turn a blind eye to it.
When Jacob finally returned to Bethel, God met him there and renewed his covenant with him. If you think that Jacob learned his lesson of radical obedience and stayed there, you'd be wrong. I'm not sure if wandering had simply become a way of life, or Bethel didn't seem to have enough resources to sustain the flock, he just wanted to see his father again, or if he was still uneasy about the surrounding areas taking revenge for the atrocities at Shechem, but not long after the covenant renewal, Jacob picked up stakes and headed south. Leaving Bethel set into motion a series of events with devastating consequences
As they journeyed south, Rachel began to have difficult labor. Whether this was brought on by travel, stress, or just the natural consequence of some births—we don’t know. The Bible doesn’t say. But as a woman, I wonder what it would have been like if Jacob had stayed put in Bethel. Benjamin is born as Rachel dies. Jacob sets a pillar on his favorite wife's grave and continues further south, mourning her as he goes.
We're told he pitched his tent just beyond the tower of Eder, a Biblical boundary of the city of Bethlehem. While he is in mourning, his oldest son, Ruben, seems to either make a power move or fall prey to incestuous lust. He has sex with his step-mother on his own father’s bed. Sleeping with concubines is a power move repeated by Israel’s later kings, most notably Absalom, David’s son.
Jacob hears about the betrayal and seemingly does nothing. And we wait decades to find out what God thinks about it. Consequences might seem long in coming, but they do come.
At the end of his life, Jacob calls his sons to him and foretells what will befall them in their last days. He blesses some of the brothers and seemingly curses others. These are curses in the sense that because their nature was already set, what he lays our are the natural consequences of either a life well lived (blessings), or a life not well lived (curses). It's not that he utters a curse that is then carried out, but rather declares the future God has revealed because of the proverbial die that has already been cast.
Rueben, as firstborn, would have normally been the one to inherit the vast majority of Jacob’s wealth and take on the responsibilities and roles of the head of the household.
However, because of his sinful actions, Jacob says this about him:
“Unstable as water, you shall not excel, because you went up to your father’s bed: then you defiled it – he went up to my couch.” (Genesis 49:4)
Note: It’s important to note that the second and third sons, Simeon and Levi, also receive the consequences long in coming. They are rebuked by God through Jacob for their violence and are not set in as the head of the household due to their egregious sins against the people of Shechem.
Between the years of Reuben’s sin against his father and stepmother and the consequences, Ruben displays an additional instability or double-mindedness. He is with his brothers when they see Joseph far off and they conspire to kill him. Ruben is the lone voice of reason, encouraging them to throw Joseph in a pit instead of killing him. He possibly does this to satiate the volatile natures of some of his younger brothers, namely, Simeon and Levi, who had not more than a few months ago, slaughtered an entire city and captured and taken or pillaged the city, thus buying time to rescue Joseph.
Unfortunately, Ruben is somehow absent, perhaps looking over the flock or making plans, but when he goes to get Joseph (we are told he is planning to return Joseph to his father), he is too late! Joseph is gone. Sold to passing traders.
Reuben's motives could have been out of brotherly love and concern (which is not likely, given the storyline). Or because he wants to curry favor with his father, whom he has severely wronged (more likely, given the circumstances). It is also possible that he was simply a weak man, a double-minded man, unsteady in all his ways as James warns us (which is confirmed by Jacob's curse).
However, there's one more option: If Reuben was making a power play by having sex with Bilhah (again, on his own father's bed) while Jacob was devastated by Rachel‘s death, returning Joseph to his father—and possibly informing his father of the brother’s intentions—would have been a second power play.
When Reuben realizes Joseph was sold into slavery while he was gone, his words are telling:
Then Ruben returned to the pit, and Joseph was not in the pit; and he tore his clothes. And he returned to his brothers and said, “The lad is no more, and I, where should I go?" (Genesis 37:29)
He seems to be incredibly distressed and concerned—not for his missing brother but for himself! As a result, all the brothers concoct an elaborate lie to deceive their father, making him think Joseph has been killed by wild animals.
Decades later, when widespread famine forces the brothers to go back to Egypt a second time for food, Ruben plays only a small role: he tells his father to kill his children if he does not return with Benjamin, whose presence is required if they are to get any food from the Egyptian overseer. This does not move Jacob any closer to budging on sending Benjamin to Egypt. It’s not until Judah steps forward and takes responsibility that Jacob relents. Judah seems to have taken a leadership role in Jacob’s mind, which we see reinforced in the blessings of Jacob in Genesis 49:8-10:
Judah, your brothers will praise you; your hand will be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons will bow down to you. You are a lion’s cub, Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness—who dares to rouse him? The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he to whom it belongs shall come and the obedience of the nations shall be his.
This passage is understood to set Judah as the head and leader of the family. Later, when a king is chosen by God for Israel, David’s throne is established—David is from the tribe of Judah. Finally, when Jesus comes preaching about his kingdom, we see the "one to whom it belongs" and when he returns, the obedience of the nations will indeed be his!
In the NKJV, this person is referred to as "Shiloh," meaning "the one whose it is" and "birth of a new era" and "peaceful one." Jesus is all of those and is often referred to as the Lion of the tribe of Judah. Other prophecies mention the scepter that will never depart from the Messiah's hand and Revelation makes it clear that it doesn't.
So this is both a blessing fulfilled in Judah’s lifetime, as well as a prophecy of two kings, David and Jesus.
Note: It's interesting to note that the first king of Israel is Saul, who hails from the tribe of Ruben. He also displays a level of double-mindedness and instability like his forebear.
So what does this reveal about our God?
Firstly, it reveals that God does not allow sin to go unpunished, even if it takes decades to see it happen. That's a relief to those who have been sinned against. But it's also sobering because many mistake God's timing to be a stay of a sentence or even (God forbid!) an agreement with their sin. But without repentance and the blood of Jesus removing the sin entirely, it's merely a delay of the inevitable (2 Peter 3:9).
Grace is incredibly patient.
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