I have found the quickest way to a faith-filled confrontation is through pessimism.
That might seem counterintuitive or even slightly heretical, but I have found that those with the most faith—who seem to move through suffering and calamity without anxiety—often use the same method. (See the end of the blog for an alternative I have also discovered Christians use successfully.)
Have you noticed how some people struggle and succumb to anxiety while others never seem to struggle with it? If you have ever struggled with anxiety, you may have questioned this yourself.
For the purposes of this blog, I define anxiety/worry as borrowing trouble that might happen but has not happened. It is not the gut-punch we feel when something has happened but rather the gut-chewing we go through when we dwell on something that might or might not happen.
Anxiety may very well be the number one issue in church and families today. According to the stats, anxiety in the U.S. affects 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
I use the following example to describe the escalation of anxiety in a person:
I once cooked pork and apples in a glass dish with a lid. I carefully removed the glass dish from the hot oven and placed it on the stove. A few moments later I forgot the glass was hot and lifted the lid off with my bare hand! Immediately, the pain was excruciating. I put it under cool running water, which quelled the pain.
However, when I removed my hand from the cool stream of water, the pain shot up until I put it back under the running water. I did this for an hour or more! Finally, my husband (who has a history of sports injuries) said something wise: he told me that the pain would not just keep going up and up and up. Eventually it would level off at a certain level and then slowly drop down. Being the sport neophyte that I am, I hadn't really dealt with much pain. (This advice, by the way, came in handy with birthing children later.) I was very much afraid it would just keep going up!
So, with his encouragement and a lot of initial tears, I kept my hand out if the water. The pain went from a 1 to a 7 on a pain scale, in seconds, but it didn't go any higher. Eventually it lowered to a 6, then a 5, then a 4, and so on until it was gone. It took a few hours, mind you.
Anxiety is similar as it grows and spreads, looming larger the longer it is unaddressed. However, unlike the simple burn pain in my example above, when we are in an such an escalation, anxiety can actually grow until it damages our body or kills us.
When counseling Christian women who struggle with anxiety, I sometimes employ a direct process to cut anxiety and worry off. I warn that it is tough and might be compared to a mental face-slap, redirecting the circuits in our brain.
First, I ask them: "What is the worst that could possibly happen?" Now, this step should not take more than a moment. You can't dwell on whatever it is or allow it to become a vain imagination. It's meant to erect the proverbial giant so you can face it and then, like David, cut off it's head.
Then, I ask them: "Will God still carry you through this worst-case-scenario?" The answer is, of course, yes! I continue: "Will He fail to be faithful? Will He leave you or forsake you? Will He fail to meet you in the end?" The answer is, of course, no!
I sometimes even (in a humorous but serious voice) ask: "Are YOU so special that YOU are going to be the ONE person who makes the God of the Universe who has always been faithful throughout all of history suddenly NOT be faithful?" Laughingly—but serious—the answer is of course not! This is the perspective of faith.
We don't put our faith in just any thing or a process. We put our faith in a God who is Faithful and a God who always keeps His promises. When we face the biggest giant we can imagine, find that God is still on our side, then we can do what ought to be done next to slay the giant. Or we may find the giant dissipates into the vapor that it always was.
As Christians, unflappable-ness can come from arriving at the final possible pessimistic conclusion, assuring themselves that God will not fail to meet us there, and then moving forward in that certitude.
Grace teaches us He is always faithful.
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Side note: I have also come across mature Christians who no longer (or may never have) gone all the way to envisioning the pessimistic giant. They just walk in contentment that whatever comes—and they don't bother to define it—they know that God will never leave them or forsake them. This childlike faith comes from seeing everything that does come as a reinforcement that God is indeed faithful. When we have become heart-convinced of this, we live in contentment.