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Writer's pictureCathy Garland

Gracefull Boundaries

Updated: Jul 15, 2019

Jesus didn't #prioritize, but He definitely set #boundaries.


In His humanity, He made sure He ate, rested, walked constantly, napped, built friendships, and took time away from everyone to seek His father. As a reformer, He resisted being used, demands, abuse, entitlement, politics, baiting, cynicism, and more. His values sustained His boundaries: time in prayer, obedience to the Father, being direct yet loving, and walking in surrender to the will of the Father.


In a way, maybe it was more simple for Him. He was faithful to only do what He saw the Father do and only say what He heard the Father say. Not ten priorities, just one.


For us non-divine-humans, the Holy Spirit is given to empower us:


“For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the flesh, you will live.” - Romans 8:13


The scripture in Romans is clear and the recent resurgence of #self_care, selfishness, or #self_love (let's be honest - that's what it becomes) will kill us, but life is found on the other side of death to self and absolute #surrender.

Does this mean we don't take care of ourselves? Become a door-mat for an abuser? Certainly NOT! It means exactly the OPPOSITE.


The fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, and self-control. Self-control says "No" to the fleshly desires that will kill us. Faithfulness says "Yes" to the legitimate needs that God placed in us.


We must be #faithful to ourselves. Not self-love or self-care but faithful. In many cases, we must be faithful to ourselves first, like Jesus who ensured He met His own human needs. Frazzled and stressed mothers can't care for their children. It might take small changes to make sure your own soul-needs are met. For example, my mother said to make sure she ate enough fruits and veggies, she'd cut a strawberry for each child and one for herself. Make good use of Mom's Day Outs at church. Etc.


It's like the flight attendants tell us: In the event of a flight emergency, put the oxygen masks on yourself first, then help others. If you don't follow these instructions, you and the others will die. But we're talking about needs, not wants that enter into the realm of selfishness.


Soul-needs are things like these:

  • Health/Eating properly/Exercise

  • Time alone/quiet

  • Creative outlets

  • Bible/Prayer

  • Worship

  • Rest/Sabbath/Margin

  • Friendship/Accountability

  • Beauty/Nature

In a previous post, I covered how to define your #values so you can set #boundaries to begin living in #freedom, #unencumbered by the chaos of what does not matter.


#Grace is faithful to oneself.


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