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  • Writer's pictureCathy Garland

Gracefull Expectations

Updated: Jul 15, 2019

Don't buy into the lie that our spiritual life and our daily life are separated.


As an older mom (I'm over 40 here) of toddlers I had the opportunity to observe many of my sisters and friends as they raised their children, not to mention my own mother and a number of her friends. (Being a late-comer has it's perks: Most of my siblings and friends have kids in middle and high school. Some are even in college.)


Three main things I learned by observation and listening to advice:


1) Time is going to fly by

2) Mothers are not #omnipresent (though we're the closest thing on earth that is)

3) We have to have #grace with ourselves


Which leads me to another lie: the one that says our walk with God in this season ought to look exactly like someone else's.


My time with God - my devotions, worship, etc. - look extraordinarily different than a mom with older kids! It certainly looks completely different than any man's walk with God that I ever saw or heard of.


I grew up thinking that devotions had a "look", a process, and even a time of day. And, at times in my life, I have carved out the consistent time to do so. Quite frankly I've never done it well first thing in the morning - I don't have 100% brain function until 10 AM and studies say I'm not the only one. (Someday I hope to evolve into a #morning_person.)


For me, it's all about what God asks me to do: Once, for a season of about a year, I spent time in intercession from 12 midnight until 3 AM because God called me to do so. I was also single. When I had nursing babies who woke up every two hours, day or night, my devotions consisted of quoting scripture I had hidden in my heart and singing them over my little ones.


Right now, my devotional life looks like some set aside time to read and pray on days a caretaker is here, but mostly it's finding God's heart in the chaos.


I was taught growing up in church that God is found in order. There is some truth in this. However, what looks like chaos to an outsider is not disorder born of willful rebellion to God's order - that is a much different thing! When Paul said God was a God of confusion, he was addressing the drama-queens who were prophesying over each other in the middle of the service, not mothers with toddlers!


When my children wrestle with their dad, it sounds and looks like chaos. When they paint or make crafts, "chaotic" is a mild word. When all six of my siblings were in various stages of chicken pox and the house was a mess because no one had slept properly in days, that was chaos defined.


But am I to believe that God was not present? Does not make Himself known? Can He not be found in these situations? Certainly not!


The demand for #order and the implication that God is only found in order, is an insidious lie. It unravels who God is, who God is in our own lives, and who we are in Christ. I suggest we kill it.

Not only is it a lie we must kill in our own hearts, but we must kill it in our judgement of others. We should never enter someone's house and judge them for it being a mess. We do not know what happened that day, that week, or that month. Instead, let us lovingly help clean up, coach new habits, train women who may not have had mothers - and in some cases, drink your tea and ignore it. I'm serious: It has got to stop. This lie cannot be used to intimidate, manipulate or discourage any longer.


God IS PRESENT if two or more are gathered. God DOES make Himself known while my children scream with laughter as they are chased around the room. They partake of His creative nature when they create and appreciate art, messy faces and all.


We may not be able to carve out time for consistent anything in some #seasons. We are going to make mistakes - daily. But I am fully confident we CAN find God in the chaos. Lean in to listen to Him while washing dishes. Pray blessings while wiping faces.


#Grace lives life in prayer in the middle of chaos.


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