I read a meme today that said "If you haven't left somewhere carrying your screaming child under your arms surf-board style, you're not really parenting." #truth
I also recently read a simple, #authentic Facebook post from a young mother who shared that parenting was tough and that she had no idea it was going to be so tough. Based on the social media posts she'd seen over the years, she assumed there were a lot more bubbles than blunders. She shared how she needed time away and wished other mothers were more #transparent about how difficult it really is.
I feel that because I am an older mother to younger children, had the opportunity to watch my younger sisters and brothers raise my nieces and nephews (and do a mighty fine job I must add!), and spent years helping my mother to raise my siblings, I walked into parenting with my eyes wide open.
Even with all that preparation, I am also surprised at how hard parenting is! Each new phase requires a new level of grace that I just don't have...until God gives it to me.
My mother says that parenting without the internet was easier—a sort of "ignorance is bliss" kind of thing. My husband thinks times have changed and dangers are increased. I read articles that blame everything from mobile devices to decreased play outside to lack of micro-nutrients. The pull between me working and playing with the kids enough tugs at my heart strings daily—and I work from home!
But what I find consistently the bottom-line denominator is ME. The difficulty does not lie with my children, though they aren't perfect and they have their own issues, but they are tiny humans just learning. I find it's my own expectations—of me, them, life, my husband—that make me raise my voice instead of speak in gentleness. I find it's my own needs for quiet and solitude that make me impatient. I find it's my own #weakness that pushes me to "do one more thing" and causes me to rush when I should have had a bigger #buffer. I find it's my own forgetfulness that makes me snap at the kids when I should have been more gracious.
So, when I celebrate the good times on social media instead of my shortcomings, know that I'm just someone who wishes to forget that I wasn't as gracious today as I could have been and instead remember that we really did have such a good time finger-painting...even if it did take more time to clean up than the actual painting time.
But I'm all for celebrating the good and making sure we don't hide the difficult. I agree with that mom: let's push ourselves to be #authentic.
Authenticity is having the courage to show who you are while you are becoming all that you were made to be.
After all, #grace isn't grace unless it's under pressure somewhere.
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