I have learned that if I'm not seeing my prayers answered specifically, then I am praying wrong.
In my early years, I prayed very specifically. I recall asking God to show me how powerful He was over Satan. I think I was 6. He gave me a dream where my father wrestled a devil to the bed and said, "Look Cathy, God makes Satan's eyes blink." It made sense to me then: God created Satan and even though they are enemies, Satan's eyes can't blink without God's providence.
I remember praying for a woman who was a seeing-eye assistant for a semi-famous Christian pianist/singer. She cried when she said she wanted a child. I recall Jennifer Snow (Huffman), Joanna Winter (Grimes), and myself laying hands on her and praying. I recall specifically praying that a curse be lifted from her womb, that it would be opened for the baby of her heart. I think I was maybe 8. I then told her it would be so and skipped off, totally unselfconscious. Nine months later, she sent me a letter with photos of her newborn baby girl. She sent pictures for several years. I recently reconnected with her on Facebook and her daughter is a beautiful young woman. Her very name means "miracle". She did not have any other children.
There were others—my mother remembers better than I. But somewhere along the way I lost the ability to see and hear specifically, so I stopped praying specifically. Maybe it was fear that God wasn't listening to ME. Maybe it was general teenager malaise. I don't know. Whatever the reason, my prayers became safe and ambiguous. Kind of like those horoscopes that fit you, me, and the plumber working on my next door neighbor's sink. They were just as impoverished and futile.
At times I'd attempt to write down prayers of things I'd want God to change or do, following the different prayer methods taught. Rarely though, did I see God move or do the things I asked of Him: I do not recall a single time God answered my prayers during that interminable season.
I knew He was there (the Bible tells me so). I knew He was listening (the Bible tells me so), but He was not answering.
Some people encouraged me to persist, saying that we don't always know why God answers or doesn't answer or it was not ours to ask why God didn't move as we see fit. In one sense they were right, but in another, they were so wholly off that it kept me from finding my way back to the #basics. The basics are: hearing God and praying what He wants me to pray. In Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray, I found the key: Whatever we ask of God, He asks us back, "Are you willing to give Me that very thing?" This act performed over and over leads us to the absolute surrender where we desire nothing but what He places in our heart, pray nothing but what He wants us to pray, and see RESULTS from those prayers.
In many cases, we do know why God answers and doesn't answer, if we are honest with ourselves. (More on that later.) And I know this: He answers prayers that He wants us to #pray. Period.
Since then, I have seen so many miracles that I cannot list them all. For example, I belong to several Facebook groups where parents post their desperate pleas for prayers (and good vibes which are ridiculously useless) for their suffering children. When I hear what to pray specifically, I pray it. Then it happens.
I don't take the credit—it is God who does the work and there are hundreds praying as well. However, the #miracles range from new kidneys arriving within the hour of when I heard God say to pray (after the child had been waiting for a long time and death was immanent) to praying specifically for a child's A1C to drop to a specific number God told me to pray. Again, I cannot take credit because I am no doctor and I do not know much about medical terms and ranges, but I do know when I hear from God.
In some cases, the parents don't say what they need specifically—others get VERY detailed. It makes my role easier the more specific someone is. If a mother says, "My son's blood count is x and it needs to be between y and z according to the doctors" then I immediately go to God and ask Him what number He wants me to command the blood count to go to. Usually I hear something between the listed range (but a few times I've heard two or more numbers, each trending down to the normal numbers—only to have the mother post those EXACT numbers and keep us posted until the normal range is reached!). Whatever the request is, I pray something similar to the following:
"In the name of Jesus, I come to you Father for a petition for {insert name of child}. I ask that You would give me the authority over {insert system or body part or whatever}."
Then I listen. He usually says "Granted," though I have heard other things.
Then I pray, "Father, I ask for authority to command the {insert system or body part or whatever} of {insert name of child} to {insert whatever it needs to do}." Then I listen again. He usually says "Granted," or often tells me something else to pray in a similar vein. Whatever He tells me to pray, I pray. Whatever He gives me authority over, I take authority over. Whatever He directs me to command, I command.
Note: Any silence at this point usually means that He wants to go an entirely different route, so I just sit quietly until I hear where He wants to go. At the beginning, I spent more time in this waiting position than now, where we walk more in tandem and I hear an answer almost before I finish asking.
Similarly, when I pray for people who are in front of me, I do not usually ask them for what they need prayer for, instead I assure them that I will pray and believe for whatever God tells me to pray and believe for, nothing more and nothing less. Then I listen. Then I pray/command/take authority/declare whatever He tells me.
Nothing more, nothing less. Which can sometimes be harder than one might think.
The practice of praying specifically, combined with #surrender, ability to quiet the mind, and the #discipline of receiving, all combine to make an effective life of prayer.
Grace is specific.